More on 'Should'

Exercise: Run, dancing, escalators
Juice (Lent): celery/pineapple juice, apple/lime/spinach/celery juice, orange juice

Today I met up for a catch up with one of my delightful 'couple' friends. And we got to talking about the fun things we are up to. The wife and I are quite similar, highly creative, expressive, see the truth in things quickly (we don't need to see all the evidence) and want to tell the world about it! (And the husband is cool, calm, and works with tangibles and likes to see a full court report before proceeding, so they complement each other beautifully) And I was sharing from my own experience how I've learnt that it's not a good idea to try and 'fix' people.

So again no 'shoulds'. Because unless individuals recognise the need to take responsibility for their lives and are ready for change, they just won't get it. It doesn't matter how crystal clear it is to you! We've all been there at some point in time regarding one area of our lives or another.

The only times it is okay to 'suggest' someone read something, watch something, try something, is when they are always coming to you with their problem, or ask you for help. Or by their language, what they talk about and the things they are involved in will tell you whether they are 'ripe' for what you are about to share.

When you have suggested or given (I prefer to give as a gift rather than lend that way you don't have to ask for it back and the other person does not feel obliged to go through with the thing, but if the person is on the same wavelength lending is great) don't then ask what they thought of it, how it's going etc. It's up to them, remember we're not fixers. If they choose to give you feedback then that's great and this could be positive or negative, no need to try and be right, if explanations are asked for fine otherwise accept and move on!!

So another revelation, they're coming thick and fast! We are not called to be fixers, but inspirers. That's how you get people to change by being authentically you, and it will be different things for different people.

It is an affirmation of one's authenticity to be called inspirational. Authenticity not perfection; )

If It's A 'Should' Think Again

Exercise: Escalators
Juice fast: Pineapple and celery; apple, spinach and lime (each topped up with water)

I had a bit of a revelation yesterday. I was thinking how I was enjoying every thing that I was doing regardless of whether I was achieving excellence or was wobbling all over the place! I realised that 'shoulds' are a sign of an inauthentic life. For example,

- I should call my Mum
- I should eat raw
- I should exercise
- I should be kinder
- I should spend more time with my friends

and on it goes.

That is not to say that the things above are not good things to do. It's just that implicit in the word 'should' used in that way is a certain reluctant obligation or duty. Not the stuff of an exciting and fulfilling life.

If I think 'should' that is now a check for me to work out what will turn it into a definite 'I want to, or I will' or a definite 'I don't want to, or I won't'. Do I need a bigger 'why' ?, does that person drain my energy?, do I need to be more organised?, do I need to take it off the list? How can I make this thing a more exciting thing to do?

It's about being intentional and taking responsibility for our lives instead of letting circumstance, limiting beliefs, and people-pleasing dictate. It's a daily journey, and day by day a more authentic and fulfilling life is being lived.

Update of my progress working through 'Life on Purpose' by Brad Swift. I have cracked my life purpose after drafts numbering double figures. I won't write out the long version. But the short version,

my life on purpose is a whole life of full and beautiful expression, lived with thanksgiving. This chimes with my spirit. But may still tweak!

There Is No Race, Only You

Exercise: Escalators
Food: pineapple and celery juice; apple, lime, celery and spinach juice (juice fast)

Gosh it's been a while, my evenings are filling up so I keep thinking I'll post tomorrow, and on it goes!

Last weekend my me time was going to be spent perusing the Wildlife photographer of the year at the Natural History Museum, but it was fully booked. So wandered the Brompton Road instead! Ended up in Leon again to work on 'Life on Purpose'. I had some salad and sweet potato with hummus. Last week there was a lot of wanting the potato (not necessarily getting)! For some reason despite hardly eating crisps when cooked when I went 100% raw last year (after about 5 yrs of high raw) it was crisps that I really wanted every time immediately after. Very bizarre! But what I found was they would hurt my mouth because I had gotten used to eating softer, fresh food! I truly love eating raw that I don't worry about any off the wagon moments, they help me determine what I want. I don't eat this way because I should, or out of fear, I really enjoy it. I love greens, I love fruit, I love the colour, the vibrancy, the adventure, the taste of it all. I still marvel that I love BANANAS!

I have drafted and re-drafted my life on purpose statement, I'm not interested in perfect but something was missing. Then today as I was looking at some of the others, I realised I had missed a particular core value of mine - self expression. I love to write, dance, take pictures, run, do yoga, act and be different and try new things amongst others. So pretty significant! Mulled over it some more today, nearly there.

Full Up On Life

Exercise: Escalators, bodyweights
Food: 7 bananas, a box of cherries, green smoothie (spinach, mango, pear and pea shoots), Innocent smoothie (banana, coconuts and pineapple)

I had a really lovely weekend. Saturday was like a glorious summer day in the middle of February. I went for a run and got asked out on a date! Later visited the Tate Modern and browsed the Materials and Gestures exhibits, a mixture of paintings and sculptures and a couple of video installations. I love the Tate Modern for the sheer size of it, all that space and uber-high ceilings.

Part of the plan was to take myself off to a cafe or somewhere to do some work with my 'Life on Purpose' Book by Brad Swift. So I sat in the equally spacious Leon restaurant, I could watch people go by through the glass frontage and work through the book. I'm loving it, and it was a good idea to work in a different environment. Had a couple of major dawning realisations which were incredibly liberating. Made a note of some of my core values to go and check what the dictionary definitions for them were. You know how you think you know what something means? But usually there's even more to be revealed.

Began to be overwhelmed by lovely cooking smells, which seemed in stark contrast to the bananas and water I was consuming, but in a weird contradictory way I was enjoying both.

I think the crux of this post is that I am understanding the more we are purposeful and fufilled in life, the less the pull towards addictions and escapism. Because life is so much fun, challenges and all.

Raw Food Restaurant

Exercise: Escalators, walking
Food: 10 bananas, 2 green smoothies (spinach, papaya, pear, mango, pineapple juice) and (pea shoots, strawberries, pineapple juice)

I forgot to say I road-tested the Cuisinart food processor on Sunday. And it is fantastic. I tried out a recipe inspired by a salad I bought at Planet Organic. Then I tried it again on Monday and it didn't work. So on Tues rang up House-makers and they were fabulous they said they would collect it and give me a new one. Then my sis rang and said it was working, I had put the bowl in the wrong way round. Yes, I did let House-makers know! It really is very simple to use, the instruction book is tiny and includes recipes. And I know I keep saying it but it is so beautiful to look at too. I get double the pleasure creating life-enhancing yumminess with something that has beauty in both form and function.

I shredded two large carrots and then mixed them with some home-ground sesame seeds. I added a bit of water to moisten. It tasted yummy like that, then I added a couple of drops of tamari which gave it a slightly bitter tinge but still good.

Well I am the most blessed woman in the whole wide world, seriously I say this everyday not as an affirmation but because it's my reality. Last week I found out a new raw restaurant/martini bar is practically opening a few doors down from where I workin Shoreditch. How cool is that? The first full-on proper raw restaurant in London right by me. What fun I'll have taking friends there. Opening night here I come

It's called Saf, and they are hiring staff now!
http://eng.safrestaurant.com.tr/bio-restaurant.aspx

Great Value

Exercise: Running
Food: raw fruit and nut bars, 8 bananas, salad of baby spinach, carrot/tahini, tomatoes, avocado

Had a really lovely day and enjoyed everything I ate to the last dot! I absolutely love this adventure, even when I hit a challenge. You may have noticed I had no nuts all week just at the weekend, very happy with that.

I'm feeling so very purposeful today and I am purposeful! I'm halfway through passage 4 (There are 6 passages) of 'Life on Purpose' by Brad Swift. I'm very excited but you'll need to read it to understand why. Because my life started changing in amazing ways since Jan 06 I can already see how what is shaping my life now is much more intentional, instead of reactionary. But it will be great to bring everything together by the time I finish the book. It is not a process to be rushed, but I highly recommend it.

It can be uncomfortable reading (initially) if you haven't made any progress to living congruently with your values (and most people haven't). I feel very fortunate to be going through the book from a place of great expectation. This is because I had begun to take control of my life, particularly last year using Jinny Ditzler's 'Best Year Yet'. But don't worry, any feelings of discomfort will soon change to much more positive things!

I met with a friend today and we were giving thanks for all the wonderful people who are blessing us whether we know them personally or not. And all the great resources we keep 'stumbling' across including those mentioned above. People who are involved in industrious creativity, who add value to the lives of others and achieve fulfilment in theirs.

I was thinking my sister is such a great support in doing this raw journey with me. And other members of my family are increasingly health aware so are very encouraging including offering to provide a raw vegan Christmas meal for me. And then there are some lovely Raw pioneers like Dr Doug Graham and his wife Dr Rozalind Gruben-Graham, Frederic Patenaude, Raw School, and many many others including our own home turf Raw Fairies.

One of those who I think gives great value in terms of blog posts, membership schemes etc specifically re eating raw etc has got to be Roger Haeske.

http://rogerhaeske.com/

It is a great time to be alive.

Own Your Own Thoughts

Exercise: Run
Food: 9 bananas, Two salads - spinach, mushroom, carrot, seaweed, potato, tofu, broccoli, raw fruit and nut bars

I'm reading a book by Dr Henry Cloud, 'Changes that Heal'. And it is so enlightening. It's confirming some stuff that I was aware of intuitively and also opening up whole new insights. It's so great reading about 'boundaries'. This was highlighted to me in a recent incident where someone would not own their own reaction to events but wanted me to take ownership of it.

That is something I may have got caught up with in the past but I'm much more intentional now about letting people take ownership of their own feelings and behaviours. And taking ownership of my own. If people keep trying to dump on you by making you responsible for their feelings, they have over-reached their boundaries and crossed into yours. And if you don't hand the dump right back and let them own their own thoughts, feelings, assumptions etc you just enable that abusive behaviour to continue (instead of allowing them to have consequences that can lead to an inclination to change said behaviour). A lose lose situation for both parties.

There are similarities when you change your eating behaviour. People may feel threatened, confused, worried etc Of course you want to have a way of respectfully explaining your adventure but ultimately they will have to work through their thoughts and feelings on the matter. As indeed we must be present in what we are doing, know why we make certain choices and how they serve us or not. I remind myself that to get my needs met I need to make my needs known. The response I get could vary, but my feelings on the matter are my own responsibilty.

Many do say when you eat raw you become more emotionally aware, and stuff that you've buried from the past can start rearing up as well, things and behaviour you tolerated before in others and yourself simply become intolerable. This is partly to do with the fact that we like to avoid pain so we sedate ourselves with lots of cooked and junk food, refuse to reflect on our lives, and we don't seek help and take responsibility for dealing with our our emotional wounds. But on a positive note we can always decide to do things differently!